Written by jigg on 01 December 2009
As Karenl gets ready to move here and probably spend the rest of her life with me, I can’t help but wonder about the insane sacrifice she is making. She is giving up her New England life to be with me, possibly spending the rest of her life in some suburb type neighborhood in Brooklyn.
Since relationships are all about sacrifices, it’s no surprise that she had to give up something to be with me. The question is, what do I give up to call it even? Is there even anything I can give up that actually means something? I can’t give up my left hand, but would just the pinky be too little and seem insincere? It’s quite the dilemma.
The more I think about it, the more I only come up with things I can’t give up. After much thought, I have a list of the top five things I can’t give up and hope that whatever I sacrifice in the name of love, it isn’t too much and hopefully, something I can buy back one day for under 50 bucks.
Top 5 Things that I CAN’T Sacrifice (in the order of importance):
1. Yankees. Tell me to wear anything that represents te Red Sox and I would rather give up life in a fight to the death.
2. Meat. Not eat meat for the rest of my life? Karen would have to allow me to have two mistresses before I am called a vegetarian.
3. Alcohol. No more alcohol? Crazy talk. Quitters never win!
4. Children. I have to have children! I will adopt if I have to.
5. Veto power in naming our kids. No offense, but no son of mine will be named Newton!
Tags: alcohol, Food, kids, lists, sacrifice, Yankees
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Written by Mrs. jigg on 06 November 2009
My Friends: What does jigg do?
Me: He works for [insert name of cosmestics company].
Tags: graph, job
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Written by jigg on 29 October 2009
Like every couple, Karen l and I get into our share of arguments. Unlike other couples, we don’t fight about anything important. In fact, none of it has anything to do with our relationship.
I remember one of the earliest showdowns we had concerned copyright laws. I’m all about rightful ownership and she is all about FREE distribution of information and art. I realized early on that not only would I have to accept that she was from Boston, but she was also a socialist/communist. Ellsworth Tooey would be proud of Karen.
The other day, I had to raise my voice at her. She decided to pull a sneak attack on me, resuming the battle we have been having for two days. She just could not accept the fact that even though historically Sunday was the first day of the week, Monday has since taken over in modern times. Sure, the calendar still has Sunday in front, but Sunday is part of the “weekend” and a new week starts on Monday. And we all know that if it was Sunday and I said I was moving next week, on Saturday, I would be refering to a time 6 days later and not 13.
There was no end in sight and I decided that it was pointless. I decided to surrender and agree with her, on the condition that we would phrase it accordingly. If it was Sunday and I said next week Saturday, it meant the Saturday after the one coming up. Yes, this would make thing harder and more confusing, but there was no other way to end it. She then asks me if I was doing it out of spite. The nerve! I was willing to sacrifice logic and convenience to settle an argument and she thought I had ulterior intentions.
I guess for someone who feels like all problems can be worked out, we have to substitute the time most couples use to fight and duke out our own battles. I already win the argument about New York being better than Boston. I guess Karen needs to find other things to beat me in.
Tags: arguments
Posted in Dating | 1 Comment »
Written by jigg on 07 October 2009
“How could you talk about your wedding before proposing?” asked a friend of mine.
“Why not?” I responded.
“Because it spoils the surprise!” she screamed.
“Spoil what surprise? She already knows I’m marrying her no matter what. Besides, she won’t see it coming,” I responded.
This was one of many variations of conversations I have had with a bunch of different friends the last couple of weeks. Why does marriage have to be a surprise? If you both know how you feel about each other and you both have always had the goal of marriage, then tying the knot is inevitable.
Karen isn’t going to be surprised that I’m going to be proposing to her. She’s going to be surprised with when and how I do it. Unless of course, she knows me so well that she can read my thoughts. This is going to be fun.
Tags: engagement, marriage proposal, surprise
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Written by jigg on 27 September 2009
Karen has among a great number of weird bodily dysfuctions like B.O., excessive gas and hair growing out of weird places, has really sweaty palms and feet. Okay, maybe she doesn’t have the first three, but her hands and feet do in fact sweat profusely as if she walks on all fours through puddles just for shits and giggles.
I find it hilarious, but she’s always embarrassed. Understandable I guess. I mean, what would you think if you shook someone’s hand and it was cold and wet? Yeah, exactly my thought too.
Anyway, she ran out of socks today, so I decided to give her a pair of my special Nike socks that wick off the moisture off your feet and keeps it warm and dry. Without knowing this, she complimented about the socks being really soft and comfy a couple of hours later. Of course they were. Your feet are dry and wrapped in a really soft cotton. Her feet has probably never experienced such an awesome feeling before.
She asked me how long must two people be together to talk about their weird bodily dysfunctions before they don’t get freaked out. I don’t know about other people, but I prefer to get it out of the way–like put it all on the table on the first date kind of thing. They are either dealbreakers or things I will have to learn to accept. Sweaty palms? Not even a problem. Uncontrollable flatulence? Unless it’s always inaudible and has no odor, I would have to say dealbreaker.
Tags: bodily dysfunctions, deal breaker
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