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We originally planned to get married next September – with the tea ceremony, western ceremony, BBQ reception, and the whole shebang. However, a couple of weeks ago, jigg’s dad (who was never a fan of a long engagement) suggested we do a civil union before he flies back to China in mid-September – probably so that he can bring happy news back home. jigg and I didn’t have a problem with it since both of us were eager to do it anyway. My mom and aunt had planned to visit NY for the long Labor Day weekend, so the scheduling worked perfectly.

jigg ordered his ring online, THE ONE RING in black tungsten a week before while I had to put a custom order for mine because my ring size is just so ridiculously small.

Our wedding was simple. On Friday morning, jigg and I went to the Staten Island City Hall. Our guest list was small, consisting of my mom and aunt and his parents, sister, brother in law, nephew, and best friend. We didn’t mass announce our wedding because it was impossible to fit everyone in that tiny little room. I wore an old white summer dress and flip flops while jigg, being jigg, suited up.

The ceremony was short, lasting less than 15 minutes. The Officiant skipped right to the important parts: asking for objections, confirming with the witness, exchanging vows, etc. My biggest fear was that I may not get the ring into jigg’s finger when it was my turn. But everything turned out well…the Officiant and jigg even cracked jokes with each other throughout the ceremony! The Officiant originally asked how I pronounced my Chinese name – I didn’t tell him to use my English name because it wasn’t the name on the license. However, when he asked jigg why he was here, jigg referred to me by my English name instead.

Officiant: (to me) What name do you want me to go by?
Me: (to Officiant) Karen.
jigg: (to Officiant) Yeah, I didn’t find out her real name until much later. She lied to me at the start too!

At the end of the day, the marriage life isn’t anything different. Yet, actually being Mrs. jigg feels much more awesome.

It happened during his birthday dinner at Strip House.  After we were seated at our table, we were just chatting like we always did.  He smirked over something I said while we waited for our food and I asked him what he was laughing about.  He then said that he had a question to ask me.  When he popped the question and held out the ring, I thought he was kidding!  Of course I said yes and then made him put the ring on my finger to make it legitimate.

It was my first time at such an expensive steakhouse, but I could hardly even remember how the food tasted after the proposal.  I was so happy, ANYTHING would have tasted like a gourmet meal to me.

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I always knew that women often contradict themselves in regards to what they like; they say they hate anything with the color red, but would find something red and tell you they love it. Karen is that person. She tells me she likes vibrant colors and hates dark, dull colors, which pretty much dismisses like 70% of the paintings and vases in the entire museum since most of the pieces are old and color has faded. Then she says she has a real dislike for religious art, which implies about 80% of the entire museum’s collection since most art historically has something to do with religion. Then she expresses she has little interest in Asian art, which means 40% of the pieces do not interest her. She then expresses that she only likes sculptures that show entire bodies and is not interested in portraits where they only show the shoulder and head. The only place where any of these criterias would be fullfilled, would be in the Modern Arts section, but even then, most of the pieces there didn’t interest her since she couldn’t understand it.

Since I’ve been to the MET numerous times, this was just a place to take Karen. She wound up enjoying the experience more than the actual art there. And it clicked to me about what she really likes. Karen generally doesn’t like art created by other people. She only prefers to see things so she would know what she doesn’t like and maybe inspired to create something she likes. She loves art as an idea, but not much more. When asked if she would buy a Picasso or a Van Gogh for three month’s pay, she said no without hesitation. At the time of her response, I was surprised, but I understand now. She expressed that if she had a home, she wouldn’t put up work by other people and only her own. Sounds narcissist, but she doesn’t think so.

With her dislikes in mind, we completely skipped all the Egyptian art, flew through my favorite section, which were the European Paintings, didn’t really stop to look at pieces from the Tang Dynasty (probably one of the most art riched dynasties in China) and skipped over the American pieces. Most of our time was spent admiring the sculptures in one of the courtyards, the weapons and armory exhibits, the modern art section, Greek and Roman section and the replication of the Chinese Scholar’s Garden.

After about four hours, we were finished and left. I guess it was enough for the both of us since there wasn’t much she wanted to see and I no longer wanted to be annoyed by her lack of enthusiasm for beautiful paintings and pottery that’s over a thousand years old.

Back to my original point, what bothered me most was whenever she liked something, it was against all her previous claims she hated. In hindsight, the biggest lesson of all is that it’s a waste of time to try and figure Karen out. There’s no pattern and the only way I would know if she likes something is to ask. Ultimately, it’s about how something makes her feel and we both know that the same thing can make women feel two different things at two different times.

During a dinner conversation that occurred during the second or third time I met jigg’s parents, I found an opportunity when his dad mentioned how many kids these days don’t appreciate bitter melon because their parents do not force them to eat. His proposed solution is simple: assimilation – if kids eat a little bit of it on a regular basis, they would slowly develop the acquired taste for it. jigg then added that it only took him a little bit over a year of constantly eating bitter melon to like it.

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Based on the number of times (it’s a lot) that I have noticed bitter melon as the ingredient in jigg’s dad’s subsequent dinner entrees and how he fondly speaks of its deliciousness, I think I could assume that bitter melon is one of his favorite vegetables. I thought that it would surely be impressive if I could develop an acquired taste for it too!

So for the past several dinners, I have been eating bits of bitter melon each time. Personally, it is not something I would eat on my own free will. Bitterness is a taste that I associate anything that is gross with…like medicine and ear wax (yes, I have tasted that and it is bitter). To date, I still don’t like bitter melon.

When I asked jigg what he had for dinner last night and guessed whether it’s bitter melon, he laughed and told me that bitter melon season is over.  Me –>