Category Archives: Wedding

Our awesome BBQ wedding.

Wedding

I finally got my dress!

I don’t know why other women kept telling me otherwise, but shopping for my wedding dress was one stressful experience.  In the past couple of months, I must have looked at least a couple hundred dresses online and tried on 40 or so in stores, but each time I think I’ve found the “perfect” dress, something makes me change my mind.

I think the most difficult thing about this process was staying firm to what I wanted because there were so many influences that led me astray.

Salespeople:
Salespeople are awesome at manipulating you with compliments, promises, and classic sales tactics.  I initially started out looking for a short, sun dress with my wedding being a BBQ and all.  But during my first visit to a wedding dress boutique, the saleslady almost convinced me to go for a full out ball gown!  Logistically speaking, she knew that a long dress wouldn’t work, but she had an answer for every objection.  ”Oh, you can hook the train up so it wouldn’t drag.” “The cleaners can take care of a little grass stain.”  ”You want to stand out on your wedding!” “Don’t hesitate! It takes 6 months to order the dress.”  Once she got me in the fitting room, she brought out dress after dress.  Her assistant was tightening my corset, holding my train, walking me to a pedestal in front of a mirror, etc.  They really made me feel like a princess!

I started to notice a pattern with how these salespeople work.  The first couple of dresses they bring out often are to get a feel of what you want.  They also will not say anything negative about a dress until you say it first and they will agree with how great something looks on you if you think it looks good on you.  Then once you find one that you sort of like, they will bring out similar dresses that are nicer and slightly more expensive until they’ve got you hooked on the dress.  To close the session, they will bring out some horrible, expensive dress for comparative purposes so your thought would always go back to how great that other dress looked.

Dress Cut & Fabric
There were many instances of when I found a dress in a catalog that I thought was gorgeous until I tried it on.  This is when I learned that certain dresses, even though it fits in size, will make you look stumpy, flat, or figure-less if the cut isn’t flattering on your body shape.  You can’t tell by looking at a picture because the dresses look great on all the models.  I tried researching for more information online, but different websites gave conflicting advice.  So in the end, the best way to find out was just to go and tried the dresses on.  So yeah, buying a dress you’ve never tried online is a pretty bad idea.

Buying From China
My aunt recently bought her wedding dress online from a Chinese company – she just emailed her measurements and the company sent her the dresses without a problem, $100 for a wedding gown and $50 per bridesmaid dress!  The price caught my attention so I decided to give the company a try.  But when I emailed the company for a quote, it came back with a price of $180 to $250 for a bridesmaid dress…  I understand that it’s customary for Chinese companies to jack up the prices because 1)  they know Americans are willing to pay and 2) bargaining is acceptable.  But the initial correspondence was such a turn off that I cross this option out.

Too Many Choices
Every time I came close to making a decision, I always think there are more choices out there that I haven’t considered and more dresses I haven’t tried.  I always felt the need to keep my options open.  I’m sure if I continued looking, I would eventually find something better, but at some point, I just had to stop and make a decision.

On Sunday, I found the dress I was looking at for the past two months while shopping at Bloomingdales for jigg’s birthday present.  Surprisingly, Bloomies carried it in my size.  I tried it on about five more times in the fitting room and I ended up buying it!

Wedding

We got our park permits!

It’s official  - jigg and I are throwing our BBQ at Heckscher State Park!  Our permits finally came in the mail on Saturday.

The reason why it took so long to reserve the space is that 1) the park doesn’t take reservations until March, 2) we weren’t sure whether the space could accommodate such a large number of people for our BBQ and 3) we needed permits for almost EVERYTHING (the most important one being the alchy permit :P ).  One of our biggest holdup was getting the park’s permission to put up an additional tent because park engineers wanted to make sure our space was structurally feasible to do so.  We ended up reserving the space for two days so the engineers have enough time to set it up the day before.

Heckscher State Park

I’m pretty excited about this place (I wasn’t before…but that’s another story) because it’s located in a private and secluded area of the park with its own parking lot and bathroom.  The park itself is huge, so we figure that guests can explore before or after our BBQ.

The tagline description about the deers is pretty accurate – jigg and I did come across families of them when we visited the park last September.  I just hope they don’t poop all over the place…

Doodles Wedding

Save the Date Polaroid Series

jigg and I originally planned to send out our save the date cards using a series of Polaroids as the basis for our design.  Our guests would receive one of the five Polaroids below, each representing something from me and jigg’s relationship.

We thought this would be an unique approach to traditional save the dates and would fit into the general “feel” of our wedding reception well (we’re actually calling it our first anniversary celebration) –  fun, casual, and quirky.

The Polaroids were pretty easy to create on Photoshop.  The doodles I did myself on my pen tablet.  Although I was very confident that I could produce them at a very low cost (~$100 for 200 pieces), we had no way of bringing down our postage expense.

We ended up scrapping the idea and decided to send electronic versions instead.  Bummer, I know.  But now I’m looking forward to invitations!

We met on Xanga. +2 eProps!

jigg's wedding band is The One Ring.

Make way for me!

Fenway is enemy territory.

Save the date Polaroid. We actually never walked the Brooklyn Bridge...

Doodles Family Miscellaneous Wedding

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Family Wedding

The Guest List

As I plan this wedding, I realize that a huge part of the decision making process involves filtering people – either in or out. For example, the people you ask to be in your bridal party, invite as your guests, or follow-up with if they don’t RSVP in time…versus the people you don’t. Although not explicitly stated, these actions are measures of how important certain individuals are to us and let others gauge where they stand in our lives as well.  But problems arise when there’s a discrepancy in what we think and what they think.

I have had family and friends who were offended because they found out about my engagement through Facebook rather than getting a call from me or weren’t invited to the civil ceremony when jigg and I got married at City Hall.  That’s just a small group of people…currently, jigg and I are making our wedding guest list and I can see how difficult the filtering process can be on a larger scale.  Especially because jigg knows so many people!

I always feel like there’s a giant elephant in the room when you’re in the company of someone you fairly well, who knows about your wedding but is not invited. Do you just not talk about the wedding at all? Should I explain myself? Because no matter how I phrase it, the underlying message is that the person just didn’t make the cut…

Then there are awkward situations when people automatically assume they’re invited when they’re actually not. It’s actually a huge pet peeve when people tell me, “I can’t wait to go to your wedding!” or put me on the spot and ask, “I’m invited right?”  Unless that person is extremely close to me, I think that’s one of the rudest questions to ask.

I still don’t have a response to this so I just smile and ignore the question.  But at least I know what not to do around other engaged couples:

  • Assume that you’ll be invited/Ask to be invited.
  • Bring up the wedding if you’re in a group of people where everyone isn’t invited.
  • Feel offended because you’re not invited.  The bride and groom may want a very very intimate wedding or simply just can’t afford a  larger wedding.  They’re stressed enough as is, don’t add to it.

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