Philosophy on how to raise kids

Although jigg and I don’t plan on having children for a while, we have already began formulating our united strategy on how to raise our kids.  We’ve discussed everything from Western versus Eastern style of parenting (Read Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mom) to what the most advantageous month of the year is to give birth (Read Outliers).

I believe that kids learn to manipulate people and situations to their advantage from an early age.  For example, babies know crying gets them attention, so they learn to fake cry to get more attention even if nothing is wrong.  Or they purposely misbehave to get things their way.  This is something jigg and I are determined not to let our kids win at.

I learned alot from observing other people’s parenting.  For example, my mother in law was babysitting our one and a half year old nephew this past week.  The little brat already figured out how to walk all over her!  We kept telling her that she needs to be stern when reprimanding him and NOT smile or give him a hug immediately after.  But she doesn’t listen, and as a result, our nephew just ignores her every time she tries to discipline him.  Or he cries when he doesn’t get things his way.

We were at a family BBQ over the weekend and our aunt was telling us how hard it was to feed her three-year old grandson sometimes – because the child needs to be coaxed during meals to swallow his food. Upon hearing this, jigg and I both suspected that the child knows he will get extra attention from NOT eating, so he does it on purpose!

jigg: If the kid doesn’t want to eat, then stop force feeding him! I’m sure if he’s hungry, he’d eat whatever you give him.

Aunt: I don’t have the heart to do that.  What if the kid starves?!

jigg: I’m sure he’d come to you or cry to get your attention when he’s hungry.

Aunt: Kids sometimes don’t know these things! It’s unsettling to even let him get hungry.  When you have kids of your own, you’d understand.

jigg: A kid who doesn’t know when he’s hungry – that’s just crazy!  That’s basic instincts.  Even animals know this.  If my kid doesn’t know how to cry when he’s hungry, then he deserves to starve…

This went on for a good five minutes until the Aunt concluded that young couples like us just don’t understand. I told jigg that I want to be a Tiger Mom and be absolutely strict with our kids, but he called BS and said I’d turn into a marshmallow.

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