Things I’ve learned about men and relationships

My relationship with jigg is the longest serious relationship I have ever been in – which at this moment stands at 6 months officially and 7.5 months unofficially.  At the age of 24, I still consider myself pretty much a noob as far as relationships go.  But I have come a long way (and I still have a long way to go!) in understanding men.  Below is a list of discoveries and lessons I have learned throughout the years.

1. Do not start arguments in public.
I find that this is one the most embarrassing and tasteless things you can do.  It also makes everyone around you feel super awkward.  The best thing is to either pull him aside privately or just walk out.

2. Do not offer to take a shot/drink for your boyfriend.
It insults his manhood; just let him puke.

3. Whine to your girlfriends instead.
For years I wanted the guys I dated to comfort me, tell me that things will be okay, or agree that whoever pissed me off is an asshole.  What I usually get is logical advice – which isn’t very useful when I’m stubbornly being an emotional wreck.  Therefore, go to your girlfriends – they’re usually better at it.

4. Learn to like football.
Sunday and Monday nights get a little bit less lonely that way.  An added bonus would be to remind him to set up his Fantasy Football team every Sunday morning.

5. Meat is his aphrodisiac.
I’m pretty sure a juicy burger would get him much more excited, not chocolate dipped strawberries, oysters, or champagne.

6. Don’t poll your friends and use the results to support your argument.
Friends often have very similar outlook and beliefs, so there’s a likely chance that they would agree with you anyway.  (Or if they’re girls, they would probably find something to agree with you on to make you feel better.  See #3.)   The relationship is between you and your boyfriend, so don’t bring outsiders’ opinions in – it doesn’t matter how many of your girlfriends feel it’s right that their boyfriends buy them a two carat engagement ring.

7. Do not volunteer your boyfriend or RSVP for him.
I just recently made this mistake…twice.  No matter how sure you are he is up for it or assume that since you’re doing it, he would too.  He is still his own person – ask and let him decide.

8. Twist when you go up.
This is what you do with your hand while giving an awesome BJ.

9. Don’t make him do kissy noises over the phone in front of his friends.
Let him have some dignity.

10. Let things go.
Some things are just not worth having the last word over.

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