As Karen gets ready to move here and probably spend the rest of her life with me, I can’t help but wonder about the insane sacrifice she is making. She is giving up her New England life to be with me, possibly spending the rest of her life in some suburb type neighborhood in Brooklyn.

Since relationships are all about sacrifices, it’s no surprise that she had to give up something to be with me. The question is, what do I give up to call it even? Is there even anything I can give up that actually means something? I can’t give up my left hand, but would just the pinky be too little and seem insincere? It’s quite the dilemma.

The more I think about it, the more I only come up with things I can’t give up. After much thought, I have a list of the top five things I can’t give up and hope that whatever I sacrifice in the name of love, it isn’t too much and hopefully, something I can buy back one day for under 50 bucks.

Top 5 Things that I CAN’T Sacrifice (in the order of importance):
1. Yankees. Tell me to wear anything that represents te Red Sox and I would rather give up life in a fight to the death.
2. Meat. Not eat meat for the rest of my life? Karen would have to allow me to have two mistresses before I am called a vegetarian.
3. Alcohol. No more alcohol? Crazy talk. Quitters never win!
4. Children. I have to have children! I will adopt if I have to.
5. Veto power in naming our kids. No offense, but no son of mine will be named Newton!

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