Weird Bodily Dysfunctions

Karen has among a great number of weird bodily dysfuctions like B.O., excessive gas and hair growing out of weird places, has really sweaty palms and feet. Okay, maybe she doesn’t have the first three, but her hands and feet do in fact sweat profusely as if she walks on all fours through puddles just for shits and giggles.

I find it hilarious, but she’s always embarrassed. Understandable I guess. I mean, what would you think if you shook someone’s hand and it was cold and wet? Yeah, exactly my thought too.

Anyway, she ran out of socks today, so I decided to give her a pair of my special Nike socks that wick off the moisture off your feet and keeps it warm and dry. Without knowing this, she complimented about the socks being really soft and comfy a couple of hours later. Of course they were. Your feet are dry and wrapped in a really soft cotton. Her feet has probably never experienced such an awesome feeling before.

She asked me how long must two people be together to talk about their weird bodily dysfunctions before they don’t get freaked out. I don’t know about other people, but I prefer to get it out of the way–like put it all on the table on the first date kind of thing. They are either dealbreakers or things I will have to learn to accept. Sweaty palms? Not even a problem. Uncontrollable flatulence? Unless it’s always inaudible and has no odor, I would have to say dealbreaker.

Tags: ,

No comments yet.

Leave a Reply